In 2002 I became a clairvoyant (that is another book!).
I wasn't looking to be one, it was thrust upon me.
I was in Queenstown at the time so I hitch-hiked back to Wellington to start giving readings. I still wasn't 100% sure whether I had what it took so I rang a clairvoyant.
I cut straight to the chase, told her what had happened and asked if she could give me any insight.
She said to me "There are so many spirits on the other side who have information to share that they're always thrilled when someone puts up their hand and says I'll be your channel". That was all I needed to hear so I created a free call 0800 number and put it in the Yellow Pages.
Because years earlier when I was rolling around in a grimey slippery slick of depression, out of desperation I rang a number for a councillor from the Service ads of the newspaper. When I told her I didn't have any money right then, she refused to speak to me and I always said that if I was in that position, I would never turn anyone away.
One night I was rearranging the furniture between rooms when the phone rang. I was prepared for it to be a wrong number or telemarketer but I scrabbled around to find the phone and answered it anyway. Nervously, the woman asked if I could give her a reading. It had been weeks since I put the ad in the phonebook so it took me a second to even realise what she was asking me. I'm sure she would have been able to hear the surprise in my voice as I said "Oh! I'd love to!" then frantically set about finding The Tablet (which I did the readings on) and clearing a surface to sit on.
I admitted that it was one of my first readings and that she might need to help me out a bit but the reading flowed easily and afterward she shared how significant it had been. As she was saying goodbye she said that she was going to tell all her friends.
Within seconds the phone rang again and it didn't stop for months. In fact, I had to set it to go straight to answerphone. I ended up with over 300 clients, some of them quite high profile and from overseas and doing about 10 readings a day. I did over a thousand before my phone bill brought me to my knees and I had to shut down and move out of the flat or file for bankruptcy.
I've always called that my 0800-Give-It-Away period.
The same thing happened when, after a few years of posting graffiti images to what felt like a black hole, one very connected person stumbled on it then shared the link to the site and it went on to win an award. I've since learnt that, in business terms, these people are called Early Adopters and if they like something, they're not shy at saying so.
The other night my dear friend Vikashni rang to check up on me.
Because V's family has a knack for attracting miracles, she's always wanting to spread the love and help others too but I kept reassuring her that I was happy and, with the help of friends and food grants, fed so I didn't need anything and to give to someone who needed it more than me. I had only told my two children and mother about 'Little Peaces' and I knew from the traffic stats and lack of comments that nobody read the website so I felt safe admitting that I had submitted a book - mainly to help her understand that I was really truly doing OK, then, so that she could see for herself, I gave her the website address and we said goodbye.
Now you can imagine my sense of deja vu when she rang the next day to say that she was really moved and had texted the address out to all her friends. I couldn't help laughing as I thanked her and knowing that she has a lot of wonderful, switched on friends, I checked the website stats and sure enough, where it usually gets around an average of 50 a day, probably mostly from crawlers and bots, it had skyrocketed to 125 in a few hours, peaking at 220 today.
Then last night I got my first response from one of the NZ publishers which was both warm and encouraging. At the end he said "It potentially has a world-wide market, and it deserves the best start possible, better than what we, with our meagre and fast-diminishing resources, could give it" then went on to make a helpful suggestion.
One of the aspects I had to come to terms with a few months ago is that whatever the next phase was, I would have to allow people to help me. Using sandpaper as a flannel to clean my face would have been preferable in the past but if this is the sort of help I'm being sent, then I welcome it humbly with a wide open and optimistic heart...
Pimp My Attitude
This is where I think out loud as I transform my appearance, thought processes and most of all, attitude - no matter how unpretty.