I've been thinking a lot about this since my son broke the news of her death to me the other night.
The reality is that people don't visit depressed people because it seems futile. No matter what a well meaning supporter says or tries to do, a depressed person will have 37 reasons why nothing and no-one can help. We tell our depressed friend that we'll be there for them but it's very rare for a depressed person to reach out. When they do, it's often both manic and short lived with no long term positive effect.
I also had to ask myself if it would have made any difference to my state to have people offer me support when I had suicidal depression and unfortunately I know that I would have used those same 37 reasons to fend them off. For me, I learnt that depression was an addiction and when I was suffering, I was only open to whatever fueled it to justify and verify my state.
There are two aspects about bullying that no-one talks about.
First is that bully's are clearly suffering too.
Second is that so many of us bully ourselves mercilessly every single day.
Why is it that so many people are able to ignore bully's and why are there so many people that bully's never even think of attacking? I don't have the answer but I suspect it's to do with confidence.
In an ideal world, a movement would start where a bully is encouraged to make friends with their biggest target and show them how to protect themselves and tell them what makes them an easy/desirable target and how to avoid that. The bullied could in turn share how it's felt for them and what effect it's had.
I know I'm idealistic but it seems to me that the very act of bullying actually takes a lot of confidence (you never know who's going to fight back) so why can't we find a way of channeling that confidence in a pro-active way? And the bullied are often sensitive souls, why can't they be taught to apply that sensitivity to themselves. It seems this could have a profound effect ie: working on internal world to combat external world issues.
Pimp My Attitude
You need to know, right now, this is all about me. I'm not educated. I don't have any (non-driving related) qualifications therefore, I'm not about to tell you what you should do - I know my place.
And here you are.
At my place.
So - welcome.
If you're here for 10 seconds, I won't even know so I won't be offended that you left early.
If you're here for hours and keep coming back, I will consider you a friend because the only thing my diverse yet loyal friends have in common, and what I appreciate most about them, is that they just keep coming back..