Years ago, weighed down by the heavy musty blanket of depression, I started a role where I lived with an older friend and it was my job to prepare our meals. My friend was extremely health conscious and fortunately wealthy enough to be able to afford it so after eating nothing but fat free, protein rich, abundantly green meals, I noticed my constant state of blackness muting to mere grey and that I even had brief moments of feeling happy.
I went on to rid depression altogether but I've always thought that the change in my diet started the process and this is always the first place I start when needing to get some focus back into my life. After my last post the first thing I did was get the remainder of a tub of ice-cream out of the freezer and put the contents down the gurgler. I then took some chicken pieces out of the freezer to make stir fry for dinner. These two actions had an instant impact and I was feeling lighter by the minute.
I then bought out the next tool on list.
My journal helped me download a lot of thoughts that had been rolling around unattended in my mind and gave me some perspective.
The next day, after finding out that WINZ were unable to help me with any emergency grant, the only option left was to ask my landlady if I could miss paying one weeks rent - which she happily allowed.
So I've dug myself out of Ground Zero but the quest to put down foundations and build something of substance that keeps my feet out of the dirt and pain is the next item on the agenda. To be honest, this has been on the agenda for the past forever but now that I have nothing left to lose, I'm going to sneak behind prides back and start applying to editors to write something. I may have an empty cupboard, fridge, wardrobe and bank account and nothing left to sell online but I've been hoarding stories for years. Why haven't I bought them out sooner? Like all hoarders, I've got so many that I've never known where to start but I'm optimistic I might land on a publisher that has a department dedicated to just that...
Pimp My Attitude
This is where I think out loud as I transform my appearance, thought processes and most of all, attitude - no matter how unpretty.