I'm going to tell you a story so you may want to round up your attention span...
Over 25 years ago, I was pushing the double buggy with Charley and Gracie happily lolling around in the recline position and Jess running beside it. My best friend and confidante, Michelle was pushing Kristie-Lee and Raquel and Moomoo was mooching along beside Jess. Even though there was no-one in sight, I looked around over both my shoulders to make sure no-one could hear us and nervously said to Michelle, I've got something to tell you. Her eyes lit up and she said Ooooh - what?! Shaking and with my stomach a concrete slab of butterflies, I admitted that I really wanted to join ROCK100, the new radio station that had just started up.
I was surprised by her lack of surprise. She looked at me with an "And?!"
Her blatant faith in me gave me the courage to ring the station where I talked to the open-minded Peter. I became a volunteer copy writer within weeks then went on to be not only paid but, over the next year, I became the Promotions Manager (thanks Violet!).
Fast forward to a few years ago... I could see the sun over the other side of our office so I decided to go out and get my own lunch for a change, rather that relying on the runner to bring it to my desk.
As I was strolling in the lurid sunlight down a quaint street in Dunedin, marveling at the architecture and the unseasonal warmth on my back and feeling blissfully lucky to be there, that conversation suddenly came back to me.
Here I was, a Payroll Accountant in the film industry. On location, no less. And I wasn't even exaggerating. That's exactly what would be on the credits when they finally rolled.
Suddenly I realised that if someone had told me all those years before, as I lumbered along in my black Adidas trackies and ugg boots, dragging my suicidal depression behind me, that I was going to be doing this role in the future, I would have been devastated at their cruelty. Back then, imagining myself in the radio industry seemed ludicrous enough.
At that moment, on that blinding sunny day in Dunedin, I realised that they weren't the Delusions of Grandeur I'd been mocked mercilessly with by two family members so many years before, they were, in fact, Dreams of Greatness and that the overwhelming depression I was suffocated in back then represented the seemingly impossible divide between the reality of my current stark state and the magnificence I imagined for myself.
So, I have a message for those who feel their life is a void of nothingness and can't see any obvious path to the brilliance they secretly envisage for themselves...
That brilliance is a mere fraction of what the Universe has planned for you. Whatever you see for yourself is based on your limited perception of what you deserve and what you're capable of but if you keep pushing, regardless of your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual state, the Universe's bottom rung of the ladder will still be be a mountain above your most optimistic view for yourself.
There are only three things you need to do: be open-minded, let go of the need for perfection and have faith in yourself and your abilities to come to the party, when it's thrust upon you.
Because I can tell you from the experience of someone who had no education, no connections and no redeeming features to buy/brag/con their way into success, miracles do happen. When you see that tiny crack of light beckoning you to that world you dreamed of, you just have to back yourself and be ready to give it whatever you have, no matter how unprepared you might feel. And take my word for it, if it doesn't unfold as you imagined, ditch the GPS, put on your favourite playlist then buckle up for one mindfunk of a roadie...
Pimp My Attitude
This is where I think out loud as I transform my appearance, thought processes and most of all, attitude - no matter how unpretty.