So I got a job really quickly after that change in mindset.
And boy, what a learning curve!
I don't know if you've noticed this yourself, but whenever I have a breakthrough, whatever transpires directly from it usually contains more lessons as a continuation of that breakthrough.
It just made me think of the that saying "Your pain is the breaking of the shell of understanding"
So this job was never going to be a generic 9-5er. I knew that from the second I met my boss.
I could write a whole post just about my boss but I'll just cut straight to the juicy stuff...
This job has been all about me cleaning up one big nasty-ass mess. I recognised it in the first day and told my boss in the first week. He had no idea. I told him that I'd seen it all before and that although I could clean it up, I warned him that his business was held together with band-aids and that my first job was to rip them all off. I'd then put all the pieces back together where they were meant to be, so that, at first, it was going to get worse before it got better but that he would notice a difference quite quickly. To which he said Do it!
Well! I could have made a bonfire out of those bandaids.
I've worked no less that 10-20 hours extra a week and while the rest of the company has taken 3 weeks off over the holiday season, I told my boss if he truly wanted me to make a difference, I would have to keep working so I could forensic the ship out of everything!
So I bought all that I needed home and I've worked so hard that some days I've just stayed in my dressing gown, turning a nasty shade of feral. I even found a boil on my butt this morning from sitting down for so many hours at a time!
However, I'm so grateful that I've been through all this before so I knew each wave of overwhelm would pass and at some stage, things would start making sense.
That happened a few days ago.
One minute I was wading through smoke and mirrors and the next I'm looking out a window where there's a reasonably clear view of the future.
That process I just novella'd? That's literally exactly how I overcame my mind, body, soul, relationship and money messes.
I gathered up all the pieces, dumped them all in a heap, took each piece out individually, either binned or cleaned them then merged the pieces until they all worked harmoniously together.
So - what I've been asking myself these past few days is could The Damned Book be about cleaning up messes?
Ironically, another insight I had was that I could use this very process for writing said book...
Pimp My Attitude
This is where I think out loud as I transform my appearance, thought processes and most of all, attitude - no matter how unpretty.