All I think about every minute of every day is how I can share the valuable, transferable information I taught myself to become free of depression and addictions. I contribute online where I can, I have an open and honest website and blog, I journal breakthroughs and observations daily, I apply for grants with the aim of writing a book, I check in with my friends and whanau/family who are struggling and I research endlessly.In a world of Likes and Shares and Referrals and Viral posts, I just can't understand why the words I share appear to go into a black hole. I'm always asking myself what I can do better, researching how I can write more engagingly, looking at my personality flaws to see if I might be self-sabotaging what feels like such a pure intent and I couldn't have made it any clearer that I want feedback, no matter what you have to say, but with 0.1% response.
My mission statement has been the same for over 30 years.
"To help people feel better about themselves"
And only recently, with a heightened sense of urgency, I added the words "en masse" at the end. A reporter even did an article of my offer to talk to groups - any groups of any size - about overcoming depression and addictions. The article was a disaster and I had her remove it from online before it could go to print but even then, it had been up for over 14 hours with no response.
What more can I do?
My ultimate goal is to meet others who've overcome adversity, identify what tools we all used and share them relentlessly but I can't seem to get past my own keyboard.
This is my last cry to help.
I'm financially comfortable, have few commitments and even though I have the same fear as anyone else about putting myself in the public eye, all I think about are those who are suffering. My fear is momentary - their pain is interminable. It feels irresponsible to have experienced that pain, overcome it to be a happy and content every day and not share that process.
It will break my heart to give up trying but at some point (and that point is my turning 50 in a few weeks) you have to acknowledge when somethings not working and move on.
If you have any suggestions or feedback, hopefully you now get an idea of how valuable they would be to me...
Pimp My Attitude
This is where I think out loud as I transform my appearance, thought processes and most of all, attitude - no matter how unpretty.